Category Archives: Poetry

Seven days of loving you

Day one:
You walk in
and I begin
It’s confusing and confirming
at the same time.

Day two:
My anger dissipates
You let me be angry
And ask if you should leave
I don’t ask you to stay.

Day three:
I never wanted you to leave
You say you know
You say you’d probably stay
Probably is enough, because that’s all I have too.

Day four:
I ask you if you’d let me in
You say I’m in, but I know you
You don’t let me in
We go back to fucking
I am sure of you
I’d take the heartbreak, and two minutes of you.

Day five:
We fuck and we fuck and we fuck
I don’t care if you leave
As long as my toes curl
And you smile.

Day six:
I let you in.
You don’t have time
I know we’re back to the start.
You’ve broken every promise
You’ve broken my heart.

Day seven:
I will think of you always
Darling, I am yours if you want me
But you don’t want me
And this is where I leave you, again.


Old Lovers

Old lovers, they say, go the way of old photographs
They fade away until only the outlines remain
But you, my darling, stay in photographs
And we love through words and sigh to ourselves.

What wouldn’t I do to entangle myself
In your sheets as if they were mine
In your limbs, as if they were mine
In your life as if you were mine?

All I have is your general outline
And yet, you do not fade away
I draw me your face, its shadings
Pimples, and then moles, and then you a whole.

Inspired by this quote by my Queen Margaret Atwood:

Old lovers go the way of old photographs, bleaching out gradually as in a slow bath of acid: first the moles and pimples, then the shadings. Then the faces themselves, until nothing remains but the general outlines.

Darling, this is where I leave you

You play and you play till I cave
One word from you, and I’d still concede
In the winter of life, darling you were the month of May
But now all I’m left with is shades of blue.

I wrote about you eay more than i should have
And talked about you to anyone who would pay me heed
I cried about you every single day,
But, darling, this is where I leave you.

I leave you, not because I want to
Dignity is nothing when you are away
But I have to let you know I have no misdeeds
Even though to this pity party I’ve been invited late.

Did I not even deserve a goodbye from you?
Darling, loving you was all dark gray.
And even though I may miss you Rashid
Darling, this is where I have to leave you.

Make believe

I live in a world of make believe
And pretense. The sky is always blue
The sun-warm as a McDonald’s hash brown
The river always flowing, the leaves jewelled with dew.

You are a blank canvas
I paint on with acrylic
My dreams tranquil
As the sound of the rain.

I wish you upon a star
And at eleven eleven
I give you my entire being
And you feel like heaven

Skin on beautiful skin
Fingers intertwined
Ghost of a smile in your eyes
And that’s how I know you’re mine.

But I live in a world of make believe
And you don’t really exist
You let my fantasies live
So how can I resist?

How do I begrudge you?

You ask me if I hate you
For leaving, for staying,
For making me do things your way
For making me do things I wouldn’t do otherwise.

Darling, how do I begrudge you?
You fill up the empty spaces of my soul
With glitter, and rainbows,
And all things beautiful.

Darling, before you, I was forlorn
And had no hope for a tomorrow
That didn’t include darkness for long
and men filled with melancholic mayhem.

Darling, you were hope
You were sunshine. I was a consummate dreamer
And you were flesh and skin and bones
A manifestation of my wildest fantasies.

Darling, I now know belief,
And trust, and love
Because you exist in this world
What more conviction do I need?

Erasing you

I rub rub rub
Till my skin is the colour of the setting sun
Kind of like you, a little
Perfect, I’d said.

I scratch, scratch, scratch
At the wound till it bleeds
And stays unhealed
It hurts less than I hurt when I think of you.

I scrub, scrub, scrub
You away from my skin
But the feel of your touch lingers
Like a phantom limb.

I break, break, break
The habit of you.
That’s nothing compared to
My shattering heart.